Saturday, January 06, 2007

If You Don’t Care, Nobody Else Will

It’s very important when one is still young, that they receive an education (conditioning) by which they are self-driven, rather than relying on the approval and approbation of others -- because as the years go by, those who are self-driven, differentiate from those who will only do what others reward them for -- with disastrous results!

Many people then grow up doing only what somebody else wants (rewards) them to do -- and not feeling they can reward themselves in that manner, whenever they want to. So if it is to get in shape or do something for their own benefit -- it’s not worth doing, because somebody else is not paying them to do so. Or the reason many think to look good, is for the sake of another, and not for their own sake first, and then as a gift to others. No, they demand somebody should pay them handsomely first -- or why should they care, why should they make the effort, why should they give that pleasure to anyone else -- freely?

Likewise, many people will do nothing unless they get credit for it and can put it on their resume -- or are loved and validated by somebody else. If nobody cares about them, why should they care about themselves? So their understanding of the world is faulty -- leading to the despair of futilely wondering why somebody else is not making the world work for them.

People with that worldview of personal powerlessness, feel they are incomplete and worthless -- and it should be a crime to educate people in that way -- totally humiliating and disempowering them to seek the validation of others as the justification for their own existence. Some teachers may not know any better, or shouldn’t be in the business of teaching anyone anything.

When one is young, there are many willing to tell one what to do, and how to live one’s life -- but as one grows older, others are no longer interested, and why it is so important to have one’s own reason for being. Life matters because one makes them matter -- and nobody can do it for anybody else, though the technology for living long and well exists. That is the easy part; the motivation to value them, is something else entirely.

So it is very important throughout one’s life, to realize that value is created first by each individual for themselves -- or one cannot expect any other to care more than we do about our lives. People who demand that others should care more than they do themselves, don’t understand that caring is something we all create in our being, and that’s why it matters.

It always begins with the little things -- which grow to be big things in time and persistence. That’s usually the way it happens -- one thing naturally leading to the next, rather than, one planning out the big picture finality and hoping all the details just fall into place. It doesn’t happen that way --in a life, or a civilization.

Attention to details and not grand delusions leading to greater disappointment, disenchantment and devaluing of oneself, is the daily work of a meaningful and purposeful life. Caring properly begins with oneself -- and that communicates itself.


At January 09, 2007 1:03 PM, Blogger Mike Hu said...

Many people have no value of anything unless they see a price tag on it -- and then they think that is exactly what it is worth, rather than that value is the interaction between need and how that is fulfilled. A lot of people will have a problem, go out and buy the product, and once having purchased it, not install or implement it, and wonder why their lives are not any better -- despite their having spent the money.

Value is individually created -- and not merely the value given to anything in the exchange. Some people will buy things because they are the cheapest, with their infallible rule that , “cheapest is best.” Others will have quite the opposite view, that “the most expensive is the best.” Both overlook the most important component of value -- which is the use one gets out of it.

The most difficult thing to value properly is that which is “free;" some will regard it as worthless, while a few will recognize that bit of information as the missing key to all others -- and as such, is priceless. The number of things in one’s life that fall into that latter category, is the quality of one’s life, while no amount of the former, can ever amount to anything worthwhile.

The ability to make that transformation of the valueless to the invaluable, is what separates those who are successful from those who will never be, despite all the money and possessions they may accumulate. The sense of fulfillment is getting the most out of what one has -- and not simply having a lot, that one never uses. Never is that more true than of one’s own body and health.

Unfortunately, when most people are born and grow up, they are not provided with a manual of instructions for the proper care and maintenance of this primary equipment. In certain abusive situations, one will even be taught to undermine and distrust one’s own senses and well-being -- in a misdirected sense of doing what is best for the young and impressionable. Such “mentors” usually have a distorted sense and distrust of their own legitimacy and authenticity -- that haunts them throughout their lives.

Some are unconvinced that everyone but themselves are bad -- while others are taught that everyone but themselves are good -- both leading to tremendously antisocial impulses against every other, because one is separated in that way from the rest, regardless of good or bad. That is the essential problem and a source of much mental illness -- a person divided against themselves. That is also the problem of societies that think that such divisions are the source of their entertainment and drama -- that makes life interesting and worth living.

So one of the great flaws of contemporary civilization and education has been this very tendency to label and categorize into static, unchangeable pigeonholes from which we contend with one another -- rather than understanding life as a flux, from one to another. Thus people get trapped into thinking they are one fixed type of person incapable of being any other -- rather than the perception of ease in transforming for the response that is most appropriate to the situation and challenge -- as quite the normal human behavior.

It is a particularly great problem as one grows older and thinks he cannot change -- no matter what, because change, was not their basic adaptation throughout life. The ability to change, is the greatest survival value one can possess. That is essentially what fitness is.


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